Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I met the friendliest cop last night
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I understand Curling. That high.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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