Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize