dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
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She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
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Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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