He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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