She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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