Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(650): View more from California

I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(650): I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs. http://tfl.nu/bo8w

Replies (7) Good night (1536) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(402): View more from Nebraska

Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(402): Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES. http://tfl.nu/mubn

Replies (11) Good night (1502) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(951): View more from California

hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(951): hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit. http://tfl.nu/lqvy

Replies (22) Good night (3870) Bad night (1200) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(410): View more from Maryland

I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(410): I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/d8vw

Replies (19) Good night (3446) Bad night (742) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(864): View more from South Carolina

her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(864): her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes http://tfl.nu/t8i7

Replies (9) Good night (1661) Bad night (3968) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(570): when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one. http://tfl.nu/52ae

Replies (16) Good night (3575) Bad night (1247) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(718): View more from New York

The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(718): The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be. http://tfl.nu/vr33

Replies (5) Good night (3360) Bad night (1150) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

she could've warned me his penis was curved

(708): View more from Illinois

ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): she could've warned me his penis was curved (708): ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/vp5d

Replies (14) Good night (1586) Bad night (4543)
Favorite
(774): View more from Massachusetts

its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(774): its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody http://tfl.nu/wrf2

Replies (12) Good night (2549) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(765): View more from Indiana

Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(765): Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100. http://tfl.nu/hfgw

Replies (5) Good night (1407) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.

(917): View more from New York City

Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.

(347): View more from New York

he is a god among men.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment. (917): Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles. (347): he is a god among men. http://tfl.nu/gmep

Replies (51) Good night (7545) Bad night (743)
Favorite
(608): View more from Wisconsin

I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(608): I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week. http://tfl.nu/5pj6

Replies (9) Good night (1755) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(914): View more from New York

Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(914): Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much... http://tfl.nu/zii3

Replies (1) Good night (604) Bad night (381) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(718): View more from New York

She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(718): She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet http://tfl.nu/l8w6

Replies (10) Good night (1008) Bad night (767)
Favorite
(815): View more from Illinois

When did angry sex become our thing?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(815): When did angry sex become our thing? http://tfl.nu/g3vv

Replies (3) Good night (649) Bad night (193) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: