She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize