i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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