I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize