you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize