Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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