my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize