I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize