I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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