This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize