No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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