he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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