i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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