does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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