I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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