pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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