The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize