That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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