he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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