We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize