note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize