all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
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Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
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You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
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