I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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