using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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