She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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