New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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