Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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