Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
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I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
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my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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