around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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