Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
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Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
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did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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