Can i not drive my cunt home
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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