I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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