Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
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After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
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Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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