and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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