He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize