omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
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I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
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Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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