you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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