U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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