I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
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Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
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Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Shame - the story of my life.
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