you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
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Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
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How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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