She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize