The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize