apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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