Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
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I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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