Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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