Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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